Bouillonnui Goes Down the Rabbithole

For one reason or another, at certain points in our lives, we have to go to
a bar that's not on Capitol Hill.  I know, it can be a strange and confusing
concept to deal with at times, and it can have grave consequences.  I
decided to venture off of the Hill this past Tuesday night.

I entered the Capitol City Brewing Company on 11th and H NW, and saw
that the bar was full except for one seat.

B:     Is this seat anyone's?
OO:  Yours.
B:    Thanks dude.
OO:  I love you.
B:    Sweet.
OO:  Lemme buy you a drink. (motions towards bartender)
B:    Ummm,  (I could probably take him in some sort of rape situation)
sure.  Sooo......
OO:  What's your name?  (winks)
B:    Bouillonnui
OO:  What line of work you in?
B:    I work at a bookstore.  You?
OO:  I rob banks.  USED TO.  USED TO rob banks.  Not no more.  10 years
      in the Pen.
B:    Was it awesome?
OO:  The Pen?  It was ok.  Lemme ask you somethin'; I'm testin' you.
      How many crumbs in a loaf of bread?
B:    One?
OO:  Nope.  None.  None till you break it.
B:    "None till you break it."  I see.  What's your name man?
OO:  Double O.  (winks) I looove you.
B:    That's cool.  Love's such a complicated thing....
OO:  You want another drink?
B:    I'll buy this one.

Sadly the night ended up unrequited, and Double O never did pay for that
drink.  But it's good to think that I came out of my field trip a little wiser
to the ways of the world, mostly the bread and crumbs part.

- Bouillonnui