Friday, April 27, 2007

Tune Inn

Any Midwesterner living in D.C. (and there are a lot of us) would feel right at home walking into the Tune Inn. It even has the look of a bar you might have frequented on trips “Up North”. Replete with hunting trophies (even a Deer Ass hanging above the entrance to the Restroom) and some old school beer signs, the Tune Inn rounds out their Country Bar vibe by having both High Life and PBR on tap -- Oh no they did-ant! They’ll also fix you a decent sammich for not a lot of dollars.

While the smallish bar will usually be filled with regulars, there's almost always room in one of the booths in the back. On a recent visit, Bouillonnui and Rowdy ordered a pitcher of High Life and it was a little warm and flat, but we believe this to be a fluke. The bartender said “the beer is pouring funny today,” so hopefully, Tune Inn will escape Le Wrath de Bouillonnui. No one needs to see that again.

One swell bonus of the Tune Inn is that you can Break your Fast anytime. So when the cute girl you've been trying to talk to all night at the Pour House goes home with some Yahoo Serious lookin' dude instead, you can comfort yourself with a delicious omelette and some corned beef hash, and tell yourself, "Tomorrow, I'll go to the gym, really work the lats, and buy some cool tastefully scuffed-up jeans. Then they'll want me." And it's true--they will.

- Bouillonnui and Rowdy Chowder

Monday, April 16, 2007

Hurray for a child

Bouillonnui, Rowdy and 5 Wisconsians saddled up to the bar at Union Pub on a recent Saturday night for some festive imbibing. The night was going well: our bartender was friendly, PBR pitchers were 8 bucks, and Bouillonnui had even pulled out his Scott Stapp impersonation. (Arms out in front, head bowed, every muscle in your face tensed up, and belt out your favorite Creed lyric, "I see your soul, it's kind of gray." Minus 90 points if you do it unironically.)

The real fun started, however, when a male employee began flirting with and groping some of his co-workers. His name was Brad the Douchebag. It was amazing to watch; he was like a starving hyena, latching onto anyone, male or female, who moved into his vicinity. Strangely, his co-workers went along with it. Maybe Bouillonnui and Rowdy are getting old, but watching Brad the Douchebag go to work made us feel a little queasy… Or, that could've been the PBR.

A few minutes later, another girl came into the bar. Brad the Douchebag walked up to her and started to flirt with her as well. We watched in amazement as Brad persisted, even when she obviously appeared to want nothing to do with him. We were absolutely positive there was no way this woman would give into him, and for a long time she continued to deny his advances. At last, however, she relented and gave him a little peck, and he walked away. One of our Wisconsians in tow, Battlecat, wasn't havin' it. She decided to have a chat with this girl about the incident.

BC: Hi.
G: Hello.
BC: I just want you to know that that guy has been flirting with and groping all the other wait staff all night. He's creepy, really creepy, and it's kind of disgusting. I'll pay for all of your drinks the rest of the night if you go tell him off right now.
G: That guy? (points)
BC: Yeah.
G: Ummm.
BC: He's gross.
G: Um, that's my boyfriend.
BC: (unfazed) REALLY? Cause he's really, really creepy. (Tisks and walks away)

On the upside, we did get to watch the couple fight for the next half hour. With any luck, they broke up that night. And perhaps that’s the best kind of night you can expect if you go to Union Pub. At least it was entertaining. But whether or not Brad the Douchebag and Girl broke up or stayed together, we can all take solace in these words, spoken by a man greater than I...

"Well I don't know if I'm ready to be the man I have to be
I'll take a breath, I'll take her by my side
We stand in awe, we've created life." (power chord)

- Bouillonnui