Shake of the Fist/Heavy Petting

We're starting a new section here on Capitol Hill Bar Review. From time to time, we're going to do a little round up of random things we've encountered at various Capitol Hill Bars. A la Siskel and Ebert's Thumbs Up/Down, or Colbert's Tip of the Hat/Wave of the Finger, we're going to assign "Shake of the Fist" for something we view as lame, and "Heavy Petting" for something we like.

Shake of the fist:

1. We were at Top of the Hill (Pour House 2nd Level) recently, and
overall it was pretty good times, mostly cause it was void of the usual Hill-jerks typically found there on weekends. The bartender brought us three beers that we hadn't ordered. We thought we were getting the hook-up, but later we saw she tacked them onto the bill. Now, you can tell from Bouillonnui and Rowdy's appearance that we are not men of great wealth. Granted, we don't really belong in a classy establishment like Top of the Hill, but come on, you don't have to rub it in by making us pay 16 bucks for beers we didn't order. We po' mo-fo's yo! Recognize!

2. Rowdy reportedly got some more bad beer at Tune Inn. This makes twice in a row. Get on your horse, Tune Inn! We know you're not looking to be the snazziest place around, but non-skunkified beer is a must for any bar, even if your fried okra is one of Bouillonnui's favorites.

3. We made a valiant effort to hit up Pour House's Dollar Beer Night after a year layoff. We showed up around 6:30, and the place was hot, packed and loud to the point of being un-stayable. Soon, Bouillonnui will post his Rules for Dollar Beer Night.


Heavy Petting:

1. Major heavy petting goes out to Conrad's Pub, which came up huge last Thursday after the Pour House debacle. You simply can't beat walking into a bar, getting a $5 bucket of beer served to you by a dude who looks and behaves as if he still thinks he’s in rural Norway, and then looking up to find American Gladiators reruns are on TV. I mean c'mon, what else could you want?
Once you get 3 or 4 pitchers deep, order the Old Bay French Fries, or even some hit or miss Thai food from the adjoining restaurant.

2. All Tune Inn Burgers were $5 on Tuesday night. The burgers were
simple and good. That's all we ask. That's all we ask...

3. To Top of the Hill (despite the forced beers) for being a good place for us to chill for a bit while hatching late Saturday plans. Jukebox was good and the Dylan gave the place an aura of hard wisdom that served as a nice backdrop in which to contemplate the evening.

Conrad's Pub

Conrad's Pub is a tiny sliver of an English pub on Pennsylvania Ave between 3rd and 4th Streets SE. It seats about 12, or maybe just 10. We would say it's primarily good for serious hetero-male conversation and/or having a couple while waiting on your carry-out order at the Thai place next door.

For those of you who are lookin’ to escape the Hill-jerks, Bon Jovi-jerks or general jerk-jerks sometimes to be found at the Pour House, this is the perfect spot to have a cheap, quiet drink. The Rubenesian beauty hanging above the bar will keep you company until you've got enough Yuengling in you to move onto a more happenin’ spot.... like the Club.

Conrad’s also features that Capitol Hill rarity, the amicable and accommodating bartender. At many spots on the Hill, you will find yourself frustrated when trying to flag down the bartender for a drink. Not so at Conrad’s. Bouillonnui and Rowdy Chowder have been to Conrad’s on several occasions, and even on a Friday night it didn’t take long to get a drink.

- Bouillonnui and Rowdy Chowder